DEFINITION OF A SALES PROFESSIONAL

by John Ingrisano

The Freestyle Entrepreneur

The sales professional makes the difference when it comes to both making the sale and maximizing the sale. This is perhaps best illustrated in an anecdote told by an associate years ago.  When asked, “What’s a salesperson?” he replied:

 “Let me tell you what a salesperson is. A fellow walked into a department store and asked for a sales job. Since the applicant had no previous sales experience, the man­ager was naturally leery. But having a soft heart, he said, ‘I’ll give you one day to prove yourself. You can start right away in sporting goods.’

“Later in the day, the sales manager dropped by to see how his new salesman was doing and found him talking to a customer. ‘You’ve made a good selection. This is a terrific fishing rod, the best we carry. But you know, the really big fish aren’t by the shore. You have to get out into the middle of the lake. What you need is a boat.’

“The customer hesitated for a moment, but finally agreed. The salesman went on. ‘Of course, by the time you row out to where the really big fish are biting, you’ll be too exhausted to enjoy yourself. Fortunately, we have a motor that’s just right for that boat. And you won’t find it for a better price anywhere in town.’ The customer couldn’t turn down a deal like that, so he bought the motor, too. ‘Now, that should just about do it,’ the salesman concluded, and then hesitated. ‘How are you going to get that boat to the lake?” he asked. The customer didn’t know, and it wasn’t long before the new salesman had sold him a trailer.

“When the customer left, the sales manager came rush­ing over. ‘You’re terrific! You just made the single big­gest sale in the history of our store! And just think, all because the customer came in to buy a fishing pole.’

“The new salesman looked at the sales manager and said, ‘He didn’t come in to buy a fishing pole. He wandered in, and we started chatting. When he mentioned that his wife was in the next department buying shoes because she was going to her sister’s for the weekend, I told him it sounded like a dull couple of days for him and asked if he’d ever thought of taking up fishing.’ Now that’s a salesman!”

So work hard, make money, have fun … and sell like you mean it.

by John Ingrisano

The Freestyle Entrepreneur

[If you have a story of business success or failure – how you did something amazing right or downright stupidly wrong, and would care to share it – send me an email with as much detail as possible.  If your tale is chosen, I will feature it here and send you a copy of my book, The Back to Basics Book of Selling.]

A long time ago, during my wanderlust days, I started a Jimmy Buffett store, The Last Mango in Paradise, on St. Thomas in the United States Virgin Islands.  It had winner written all over it. 

Though the choice of St. Thomas was not perfect (the island is rife with racial tension and has a very bad business climate), the business plan was rock solid.  I projected that we would be in the black and making profits by the end of one year, and from there I projected profits growing by 15% or more a year.  It was a winner, with a terrific and multi-generational market, based on the ongoing popularity of the singer Jimmy Buffett. 

However, I made two mistakes, both involving personnel:  First, in a long moment of mental stupidity, I made my wife (a second wife, with no financial stake in my life) at that time my equal business partner.  I did this even though (1) she had zero business experience, other than as a clerk in various retail stores; and (2) the investment capital consisted 100 percent of my money.  (See this one coming yet?  I didn’t.  Oh, but there is more.)

Second, I hired my wife’s daughter and – just to prove how stupid a person can be when he puts his mind to it – the daughter’s boyfriend.

From the beginning, right after all the legal documents were signed, I knew I was in trouble.  As a businessman, I know that running a business involves continual (if not continuous) attention to detail.  Once we had the store up and running, I devoted my days, endlessly, to finding ways to increase sales by a percent or two here and there, as well as cutting expenses by a few cents here, a dollar or two there. 

Meanwhile, my wife (ex-wife today and long gone, by the way) thought that running a business meant sitting behind the counter and ringing up sales.  Just as bad, we ended up padding the daughter and boyfriend’s hours.  Why?  Because they needed the money.  In the end, challenged at every turn, I watched the business go under, right when it should have begun to take off and make money. 

The moral to the story:  A business exists to make money.  It is NOT a social (or family) welfare program.  If it had it to do over again, I would have hired the wife as an employee (if at all) and never have hired the daughter and boyfriend … except maybe from time to time, on a part-time basis. 

So, lesson learned.  Several hundred thousand dollars poorer, but a lot wiser … and still kicking!  It was a great idea, one destined to make lots of money for someone.  However, I made several important decisions for the wrong reasons.  They cost me big time. 

When it comes to your business, be hard-nosed.  No matter what friends, family and the social engineers may say (none of whom is going to risk a penny of his/her own money in your business), a business exists to make things and to make money.

So work hard, make money, have fun … and keep control of your business.   

As you well know, unless you’re in the first-blush start-up phase as an entrepreneur, business is tough.  It can wear you down.  Long hours, customers/clients who keep forgetting how much they love and need you, employees who will never be worth what you are paying them, the IRS, etc., etc., etc.

No, no, it isn’t always bad.  In fact, it’s really about as sweet as it comes on most days.  The freedom.  The control.  The opportunity to make a ton of money.  The ability to ruin your own life rather than have some brain dead department head do it for you.

I’ve been in business for myself for more than 25 years.  That means I’m essentially unemployable.  Nonetheless, there are long stretches when I fantasize about going to work for “Da Man” (aka. anybody who will give me two paychecks a month, whether I work hard or not).  Still, even my own children have told me that I wouldn’t last halfway through the first Monday morning meeting before I’d start shaking my head, mumbling to myself, excusing myself to go to the restroom, and beating feet for the front door … never to return.  Phew!  So, I try to keep my escape fantasies more realistic … sort of.   

Here are my two most vivid ones:

Escape Fantasy # 1:  It’s a bit vague, as most fantasies are, but I imagine cleaning out my bank account and going to Las Vegas, where I connect with a couple of leggy showgirls, who help me “invest” my money on one wild spin of the wheel  (you know, sort of like investing in the stock market these days).

When I begin daydreaming about this fantasy (talk about a brilliant exit strategy!), I know I’m stressed.  When I add a monkey to the mix – as in Las Vegas, two showgirls and a monkey – I know I’m way over the redline at stress overload.  (And, no, I’m never sure where the monkey fits in, so get your minds out of the gutter.)

Escape Fantasy # 2:  This one’s a bit more mundane.  I find myself thinking about getting a $10-an-hour job behind the counter of a convenience store, growing my hair, picking up a few tattoos, putting in my eight-hour shift, and then clocking out and forgetting about work for the rest of the day.  (I do try to ignore the fact that I will end up either living in my car or in the basement or garage of a soon-to-be ex-friend.)

My point:  there is no point to this silly blog, except that, if you find yourself dealing with stress and dreaming about finding a VW van and heading across the country, give me a call; I just might want to go along.

Work hard.  Make money.  Have fun … and if you’re not doing all three of these, at least enjoy your escape fantasy! 

John R. Ingrisano (aka, the Freestyle Entrepreneur)

Well, I’ve spent the last 25 years living in small towns in Wisconsin. I guess I know maybe a dozen or so millionaires. It’s hard to tell, since most of these entrepreneurs dress like the thrift shop had a special, tend to drive either pick-up trucks or nondescript Fords or Buicks, meet at the local diner at 3:00 PM each day for coffee at a community table, and tend not to take themselves too seriously. In fact, they’re downright fun-loving, full of practical jokes.

No, it’s not quite like Andy of Mayberry, and don’t ever think these folks are anything but sharp as tacks – well-read, often well-educated, with a gift for knowing when to skin somebody on a deal and when to shake hands and do a fellow a favor … without ever mentioning it. They’re genuine.
They’re a different breed of cat from their big city cousins. So, here’s to you small town entrepreneurs. You rock!

The Freestyle Entrepreneur — winner of the 2010 Top 35 Entrepreneur Blog awards from OnLine MBA.
John Ingrisano
The Freestyle Entrepreneur
204 Lakeview Drive
Algoma, WI 54201
(920) 559-3722
www.TheFreestyleEntreprenuer.com

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As customers come and go through my repair shop, I’m amazed at the diversity of their habits. For instance, I had this customer I’ll call Jon. Jon drives a black BMW convertible, dresses in $800 suits, walks very vertically, and surrounds himself with an aura of entitlement. He’s an insurance executive in a small town agency downtown. Because of the aura he exudes, he’d be able to walk into the head offices of Aetna or Prudential without drawing attention to himself. The receptionist would probably mark him as a Vice President.

When he brings me a piece of equipment to repair, he wants it tomorrow, because he’s got a desperately important job to complete at home. I’ve visited his homesite on the north side of town and know that it really couldn’t make that much difference to the state of international affairs if he never cut his grass or raked his leaves: he lives behind a grove of trees and one can hardly see his place.

Jon always leaves my shop with, “I’ll come back tomorrow at the same time to pick up my machine”. He has no thought about the possibility that other customers might come first. As far as he’s concerned, there are no other customers. He must think I keep this shop filled with equipment to keep up the image of being busy. I need to practice fixing machines so I’ll be ready to fix Jon’s machine as fast and efficiently as possible. Oh yes, and since I’m fast and quick, that means I won’t charge much money.

Jon always wants a re-do on his repair job. Even though his little blower is ten years old and in need of replacement, he wants it to run better than new when it leaves my shop. “Well, I’ll take it home and try it, but if it doesn’t work right, I’ll bring it back for adjustment.”

This past week I lent him my own excellent blower to use for one day while I “adjusted” his mediocre blower. One week later, it became clear that he was using my blower to clear out the leaves for unimagined acres of forest. I didn’t intend for him to keep it so long so I drove to his house on the seventh night of the week: about 8:30 p.m. I knew he’d be home, hiding in his forest with all the lights in the house off. However, I could see the faint stirrings of light from his TV. I demanded the return of my blower. He obliged, but reluctantly: in his bare feet and silken lounging apparel.

The next day, he came to pick up his blower which I’d completely dismantled and reassembled to repair a loose cylinder head. “This doesn’t have much power. It starts better, but it just isn’t right.” “Yes, Jon, I know it isn’t like new. It’s over ten years old”. “It just isn’t right. I’ll try it and let you know.” The “let you know” part of this discussion is the “I’ll decide if your $45.00 bill is too high to pay.”

To relieve myself of the agony of chasing him for the $45.00, I said, “Take it. Don’t bring it back and we’ll call it even.” In other words, I’ll sacrifice my $45.00 for the assurance that Jon takes his future repair work elsewhere. I’m going to practice saying, “Please take your snowblower to Jake out on Vine Street. He’ll be able to repair your machine.” I don’t want to see Jon again.

On the other side of the spectrum, there’s Mr. Matruska on the east side of town. I took his snowblower, riding mower, and chainsaw back to him yesterday. When he saw the $272.00 bill for the three pieces, he reached into this truck glove box, pulled out three one hundred dollar bills and said, “I didn’t expect the job to be so inexpensive. Also, I’m really surprised you returned the work so soon. Keep the change. I’m going to give your business card to my son in Hammond. Do you pick up work fifteen miles east?”

To myself I’m thinking, “Thank you, Mr. Matruska. For your kind of customer, I’d drive to Chicago six hours down the road. Excuse me while I erase the unkind thoughts I’ve carried in my head for a couple of days about Jon, the entitled insurance man. You make my faith in the goodness of people grow. Thank you. Thank you. Again and again.

What kind of a customer are you?

–         Flute November 2008

P.S. And then there is the little wife who brings her husband’s chainsaw for repair. “We’re not sure we want to repair this old thing. If it costs more than $45.00, we’ll probably want to buy a new one. Be sure to call us with an estimate.”

When I discover that the sprocket has split in two, the fuel lines are broken, and the carburetor needs to be replaced, I call the husband, who says, “Sure. Fix it. Whatever it takes.”

Sometimes we forget just how important the customer is.  And when we do, it costs us.  So, ask yourself, what have I done today to make my customers and prospects feel special and valued?

 Example # 1:  I needed a washer repaired last fall.  I called one service company and was told, “We will have someone out your way in about two weeks.”  In spite of my protests, the person on the other end of the line didn’t seem to care that I did have enough underwear to wait that long to get my washer repaired. 

But then when I called Paul Kinnard at Appliance & Furniture Center in Sturgeon Bay, Wisconsin, he showed up and solved my problem that same day.  I felt special and valued.  He and his company have earned my loyalty and my future business.

Example # 2:  I know I’m not alone in feeling nickeled and dimed to death when I need to return an item to a store.  Insulting “reshelving fees” and “no refunds” policies only manage to annoy the customer.  That’s why I stared in amazement last summer when, rummaging around the bargain bin of The Shoe Box in Black Earth, Wisconsin, I saw a sign explaining that if I need to return my purchase for any reason, I can do so for a full refund.  And this was on shoes in the Clearance Room!  Special and valued?  You bet!  I ended up buying several pairs of shoes rather than just the one I actually needed. 

Example # 3:  I hate being made to feel like a criminal because I cannot return a product without a sales receipt, as if I spend my days cruising the state trying to return items just for fun.  That’s why I have a special fondness for my favorite Algoma, Wisconsin grocery store, Denny’s SuperValu.  In October, I returned a three-way light bulb that only worked two ways.  (That’s one of my pet peeves.)  My money was cheerfully refunded.  No receipt.  No hassle.  Sure, it was only a 99-cent item, but they made me feel special and valued. 

Example # 4:  I’ve had an insurance agent in Cambridge, Wisconsin, for about ten years.  In truth, I do not see him all that often, though Dean Lund, with American Family, is always there when I need service or have a question.  Well, in November, my Freestyle Entrepreneur biz blog (www.thefreestyleentrepreneur.com) made it into a Top-100 blog list.  So, I sent out an email to perhaps a hundred business owners and support people on my list. 

Half a dozen folks sent congratulations by reply email.  Four days later, however, I received a handwritten note from Dean congratulating me and telling me how much he enjoys my writing.  That’s why, even though Dean Lund is more than 150 miles away, and I could buy car insurance for a few bucks less elsewhere, he will remain my insurance agent.  By making me feel special and valued, he continues to stand out in my mind. 

What can you do to make your customers feel special and valued…and keep them as loyal customers?  Here are a few pointers:

• Return phone calls right away. Not returning calls is an insult.  Period. I have one Madison-area client to whom I could be referring thousands of dollars of business. However, they rarely return a phone call, and I can’t recommend an unreliable business.
• Operate on your customers’ time.  If they show up at your shop at 5:01, don’t make goofy gestures and mouth, “We’re closed.”  Open the door.
• Tell them you appreciate their business.  It’s real simple.  I always write on my invoices, “Thanks for the business.  I appreciate you.”   

The bottom line:  Your customers and clients are special.  Never take them for granted or make them feel that you are doing them a favor.  Make sure they understand how much you appreciate them.  Do that, and your business will reap the rewards. 

So, work hard, make money, have fun.

We’ve all been taken, whether it’s by employees who carry product out the back door faster than you can sell it out the front; by the restaurant patron who first finishes the meal, then announces that it tasted awful and he won’t pay; by the customer who buys the dress on Friday and returns it on Monday…with food stains on the front from her cousin’s wedding cake.

It happens to us all, and the best we can do is (A) try not to get mauled by the same bear twice; and (B) laugh and make the most of it.

From my experience, my favorite (though not my most expensive) bear mauling came when I took a long-term client to lunch.  It was strictly a goodwill call with an old friend.  So, I was a bit surprised when, as she finished the last bite of the meal, she announced (with embarrassment, I must give her that) that my contract was being canceled.  I was doubly surprised when the check arrived and she let me grab it.  I felt as if I’d been lynched by a friend…and asked to supply my own noose.  I haven’t heard from her since…which, looking back on it, is just fine by me.

Then there are customers just looking for a freebie (which explains why they chain down pens in banks).  "The worst example I ever saw," says Will Postma, a retired manufacturers rep living in Wisconsin, "involved a Milwaukee prospect considering a piece of heavy manufacturing equipment.  He wheedled a visit to our plant near Kansas City.

"It should have been a one-day trip for one.  It turned into a three-day adventure for three (he brought along two staff members).  This fellow maxed out my client’s expense account and never even looked at the equipment," Will said, shaking his head and smiling.  "He took my client for the equivalent of $2,000."

My all-time favorite "bear-mauling" story comes from an old friend and true entrepreneur.  John Trager, from Mazomanie, Wisconsin, cut a deal for the purchase of what he thought were a thousand pairs of shoes that had been held up in U.S. Customs.

"It wasn’t until they arrived and I was uncrating them that I realized I hadn’t bought 1,000 pairs," John relates with a chuckle.  "I was the proud owner of 2,000 left shoes.  If only I could have found the fellow who bought the other half of the shipment."

Such stories help us all remember that that’s part of being in business.  How about you?  Any favorite "bear-mauling" stories you’d care to share?  If so, let’s hear from you. 

And now that you realize that your mistake perhaps wasn’t the worst one ever made, get out there are work hard, make money and have fun.  –JRIngrisano, The Freestyle Entrepreneur.com.

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To find out how I can help you make money in your business, drop me an e-mail at john@thefreestyleentrepreneur.com.  (‘Cause I’m not in this for fun.  I do it for the money.)

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Laughs from Employee Performance Evaluations:
For everyone who has ever had employees, this will ring true, if only to say what we REALLY WANTED to say.  Supposedly, these are actual quotes taken from federal government employee performance evaluations:

1. "Since my last report, this employee has reached rock-bottom and has started to dig."

2. "I would not allow this employee to breed."

3. "This employee is really not so much of a has-been, but more of a definite won’t be."

4. "Works well when under constant supervision and cornered like a rat in a trap."

5. "When he opens his mouth, it seems that it is only to change feet."

6. "This young lady has delusions of adequacy."

7. "He sets low personal standards and then consistently fails to achieve them."

8. "This employee is depriving a village somewhere of an idiot."

9. "This employee should go far, and the sooner he starts the better."

10. "Got a full 6-pack, but lacks the plastic thingy to hold it all together."

11. "A gross ignoramus – 144 times worse than an ordinary ignoramus."

12. "He doesn’t have ulcers, but he’s a carrier."

14. "I would like to go hunting with him sometime."

15. "He’s been working with glue too much."

16. "He would argue with a signpost."

17. "He brings a lot of joy whenever he leaves the room."

18. "When his IQ reaches 50, he should sell."

19. "If you see two people talking and one looks bored, he’s the other one."

20. "A photographic memory but with the lens cover glued on."

21. "A prime candidate for natural de-selection."

22. "Donated his brain to science before he was done using it."

23. "Gates are down, the lights are flashing, but the train isn’t coming."

24. "He’s got two brains cells, one is lost and the other is out looking for it."

25. "If he were any more stupid, he’d have to be watered twice a week."

26. "If you give him a penny for his thoughts, you’d get change."

27. "If you stand close enough to him, you can hear the ocean."

28. "It’s hard to believe he beat out 1,000,000 other sperm."

29. "One neuron short of a synapse."

30. "Some drink from the fountain of knowledge; he only gargled."

31. "Takes him 2 hours to watch 60-minutes."

32. "The wheel is turning, but the hamster is dead.